How 8 is better than 10 – breaking the myth of perfectionism

There’s a perfectionist hidden in all of us, and yet perfection itself continues to elude us. The ideal timing for project launches, the flawless speech, that Instagram-worthy shot, the impeccable blog, and the perfect presentation – the list goes on. Perfectionism prevents you from finishing tasks or even starting them in the first place. It can make you second guess your work or run what if scenarios of work that you’ve already done. This fixation with being perfect can cost time, money and effort.

Perfectionism may stem from various sources – the fear of failure or rejection, the desire to control a chaotic world, or a lack of self-confidence. Whatever your reasons maybe, it often fuels self-doubt, anxiety and procrastination. It can also put us in an unproductive loop of rework, trying to fix what’s not even broken.

Of course, the desire for perfection is what also keeps us pushing our boundaries to do better. Not all self-doubt is bad. Sometimes the fear is a sign that we haven’t prepared enough, need more information or rework on our approach. But it’s also really important to know when this pursuit towards excellence turns into self-sabotage, hindering progress and putting a dent on our confidence.

How to escape the trap of perfection

1. Follow the Pareto Principle: Also known as the 80/20 rule it says that 80% outcome is realized out of 20% of the work. Here are some interesting statistics to understand the rule

   - 20% of the employees are responsible for 80% of the results

   - 80% of sales are from 20% of clients

   - 20% of your thoughts lead to 80% of ideas

   Identify and focus on the crucial 20% of the tasks that will bring 80% of the desired results. Over-obsessing about the remaining 20% of the output may be unnecessary and inefficient. This principle is applicable not only in work but also in everyday life. For instance, when hosting friends at home, maintaining focus on the essentials keeps me relaxed and ready to enjoy quality time with my guests. Conversely, becoming overly preoccupied with minor details can detract from the overall experience and the joy of spending time together."

2. Reverse the confidence equation: The lack of confidence can cause us to question are own hard work. The big misconception about confidence - We think we have to feel confident in order to act confidently. In reality, taking action leads us to feel confident, not the other way round. The next time you catch yourself endlessly revising your resume, remember the 80/20 rule, hit send and let confidence grow through action. The only way to get confident at something is by doing it. Small wins matter big when it comes to self-assurance.
3. Remember there is no failure – only feedback: Perfectionists often fear mistakes. To accept failure as an inevitable and valuable component of growth and percieving mistakes as learning opportunities is integral to a growth mindset. Incremental change is crucial on the path to achievement. Practice being open and not judging towards yourself to accept failure better. Formal and informal mindfulness exercises are a great way to build the muscle of acceptance
4. Cultivate Awareness: Mindfulness techniques can bring a transformational change in one’s awareness levels. They allow you to spot and acknowledge the exact moment when you are gripped by the urge to perfect something and regain control. Paying attention to your breathing i.e. each inhalation and inhalation for just 2-3 minutes every hour can heighten awareness.
5. Staying connected and compassionate with yourself: Trying to be perfect can hijack critical agendas and milestones personally and professionally. It also impacts our feeling of self-worth negatively. In moments of anxiety and pressure, when you are hesitating to move forward it helps to reflect on your core values and the time you embodied them. Research shows that doing this simple exercise can lower your adrenaline during stressful situations. Contemplating deep truths about ourselves also allows you to be kinder and less critical of ourselves.

Finally remember to always approach yourself with compassion. Keeping a clear head about what’s important and when we get drawn into chasing unrealistic goals is a good start. If you don’t hold others to unattainable standards then its not fair to take a hard view of yourself.

As author Julia Cameron says “Progress, not perfection, is what we should be asking of ourselves.”